The Sound of Silence

Sometimes in life, you can't control yourself. Or what happens. Free will is just a dream, since life has the nasty habit of taking it's toll. It always have to win the argument.

"If you miss the train I'm on, you'll know that I am gone" 

I've been missing a lot in my life. A lot of love, a lot of opportunities, a lot of fun. Because I simply prefer sleeping better at night feeling sorry for myself. Why? Because it's comfortable. It's where I feel safe.

And life has been slapping me for that.

Long time ago, someone told me I'd be alone all my life. Even my dreams, my nightmares actually, reflect that. It's my biggest fear and truth couldn't be more closer than that. It's real. I feel lonely and unloved, just when I needed love the most. Because I was afraid. 

Oh fear is something so terrible. Not because it provokes that feeling inside you, but because it makes you loose so much of your life. Being on the safe side is not a bliss, it's like asking God for peace in return of pawning yourself. 

And the  Sound of Silence is mortifying.